Low Self-Esteem....4 out of 5 girls suffer from it. Yes it’s more common that you think! Don't suffer in silence. PLEASE don't be ashamed or afraid to get help. There’s many ways and ideas on how to overcome the largest struggle in the world for young women! But here’s my journey and steps I took to re-boost my self-esteem:
Find the triggers! The littlest things can trigger the most unpleasant moments or memories in your life. It can happen at any moment or time. The first step in boosting your self-esteem is to begin to know what your triggers are. Triggers can be big or little. There are things that can take you back to a place when you didn’t feel good inside. Find out what exactly is going on with you inside that made you feel so unworthy. There are many things that can occur in our life that causes pain and trauma. It usually happens or begins at a very early age. Go back and try to remember that moment. Once you are able to do this you can begin to heal and grow from it.
Confront! Confrontation is the best approach. It will surprise you at how much of a burden is lifted off your heart by addressing those pains and traumas. We'd always rather ball them up and throw them away. But please remember this: Covered wounds never get healed! I had to realize the triggers that caused my low self-esteem. For me it was not having a father around. It always left me feeling as though I wasn’t good enough. It was as if I'd done something wrong to not have that close relationship I longed for. Because of this it triggered negative emotions in me changed me at an early age. Pinpoint the issue and confront it head on! What was the first moment? that first thought? Emotion of feeling worthless? What is going on in your life presently makes you get back in to that sad place? As painful as it is, address it! Deal with it and close that wound. Don’t cover it and carry it with you! For me there were times where I was cursed out because of simple mistakes and that’s never a good feeling as a kid. It made me question myself constantly.
I had to deal with those negatively planted seeds. Growing up I felt like I was not able to make a mistake. I’d get looked down upon or criticized heavily. I felt I had to be perfect at all times. I also believed I had to do whatever it took for friends and family to be happy with me. I had a deep belief that if I didn't do or act a certain way they’d leave me. This left me empty and unhappy, because most only took advantage of that low self -esteem I was carrying. I was looking for acceptance through others because of the acceptance I never got. This only damaged me more. Never seek validation through others!
Read Pray Meditate Affirm Yourself!: To be honest, although it may sound cliché and even unpopular, until I began reading my bible and focusing on what the lord said about me It was a true challenge to love myself. In High school I didn’t have the best clothes or the longest hair. Not that I wasn’t decent enough, just felt like I didn’t have the new Nike's jeans or etc. so I was unimportant. I defined myself in things and people. Until I started affirming myself with prayer and reading my bible. I read scriptures on what the Lord says about me and I got comfort. I prayed to God and said this simple prayer “LORD allow me to see myself the way you do”. It worked! I’m sure it’ll work for you!
Love Your Imperfections: Understand you are human. We all make mistakes and aren’t perfect. There were standards I had to meet and sometimes I felt like I just couldn’t match up to them. When I couldn’t match up to them then I felt bad. I had a self-consciousness about my body as well. I was small and didn’t have the shape and hips like the others in high school. I was insecure about it. I didn’t have a lot of friends and was socially awkward. I was always clumsy or dropping something and alone. Along with many of the normal challenges that come with high school, far as peers, boys and growing into yourself, it can truly weigh you self-worth down. It definitely took a toll on me. Once I realized to love my imperfections, healing began. It was quite simple on learning to love myself, it wasn’t hard as some may think. It was simply taking it day by day and treating myself well and making sure I kept myself up. Here’s what I learned: I have to live with myself daily and until it’s my time to leave this earth I have to deal with what I see in the mirror so I better begin to love what I saw and accept the things I couldn’t change. Realize the same! Love your flaws!
DO THE WORK! I had to do the work to change from the inside out. This comes with affirming who I was reminding myself daily on my good qualities, focusing less on my flaws and downfalls .Reevaluating my circle of friends and family was also a necessity. The crowd you keep is so important! Looking into the mirror daily and working to love what I saw back was easier was I got rid of negative people and friends. Pick up hobbies and activities your good at and make you feel good and focus on those things. These things build up your confidence as well. Do you friends encourage and uplift, or down talk and use you? If no then let them go!
LISTEN NO ONE WILL EVER CARE LOVE RESPECT YOU OR ADVOCATE FOR YOU LIKE YOU! LOVE YOURSELF BY PRACTICING TREATING YOURSELF WELL DAILY!
TALK TO SOMEONE! Please communicate openly with someone and be honest with yourself. Whether its friends or family, get with someone you can trust to help you get through the rough periods of your life. Unfortunately, I didn’t take advantage of that because I was a loner. I feel I would have been healed from low self-esteem sooner if I did. Don’t keep it all to yourself please let someone in! YOU’RE NOT ALONE! REMEMBER THERE'S NO ONE LIKE YOU, YOU’RE UNIQUELY FORMED AND CREATED BY GOD DESTINED FOR GREATNESS... AND IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN ENCOURAGED OR TOLD THIS BEFORE, OR JUST HAVEN'T BEEN TOLD IN A WHILE YOU ARE AMAZING!